Today I’m joining in with Sarah Bessey’s synchroblog for International Women’s Day. The topic: our patron saints and spiritual midwives. 

As a reader I’m so inspired by women of history who have done great things–or small things, recorded well–to inspire and encourage the generations to come to live this Christian life well. I’ve been on the lookout for these inspiring women for nearly half of my life, ever since a college professor drove home the importance of seeking “Great God People” wherever you can, be that at your dinner table or in the pew or in the pages of books.

And I’ve found so many to inspire, especially in the pages of books: I look up to St Theresé of Lesieux and Madeleine L’Engle, Corrie Ten Boom and Anne Lamott.

And yet the woman that’s encouraging me the most right now doesn’t live on the page.

I know her, but not well. I see her, but not often.

But she inspires me so because she’s making my own path–which seems so difficult at times–seem doable, and worth doing.

As a writer, she’s wrestled through the same issues I struggle with in my own writing: being not “Christian enough” for some, and “too Christian” for others.

As a mom, she’s managing to homeschool her 4 kids. And those kids seem to actually like her, and she likes them.

As a mom, she’s structured her life in such a way that she is there for her family, and she’s doing great in her chosen profession.

As a Christian, she’s struggled. She’s doubted. She’s had some tough times. But she’s still standing.

This woman I admire so is ten years ahead of me. She was born 10 years before I was, her firstborn is a decade older than mine. Our lives aren’t carbon copies but I feel like our tracks are similar, and watching the way she’s walked her path has helped me so much. So much.

I’m grateful for the women of history, the women of the page–those women who make my soul soar and sing with possibility, who seem larger than life.

But I am also grateful beyond words for this ordinary friend. She’s no famous saint but she has been my patron. She has helped me find my life and my faith.

And for that, I am grateful.

A month ago I received word that, after several delays, the What a Woman is Worth compilation is finally going to press. All I had to do was give my contribution a title and write up a 50 word author’s bio to go with it.

Easier said than done.

This small, simple task elicited Resistance like I haven’t felt in….maybe ever.

I just could not write the thing. I don’t know how else to describe it, except to say that I.just.couldn’t.

It’s true that as an INFP, I’m not great at concise summaries of anything, and I hate writing little snippets about myself. But the difficulty of the task surpassed any rational explanation I could supply.

Finally, after realizing that I’d put this task on my “must do” list every day for a month (yes, seriously, and yes, that’s horrible), I realized that something else might be going on.

Resistance.

Steven Pressfield coined this term in The War of Art (read it, if you haven’t–it’s great) to describe that thing that comes between you and your work. Resistance is what keeps you from sitting down to write. Resistance is invisible, internal, insidious, implacable. Resistance never sleeps; resistance plays for keeps.

As Pressfield says, “Resistance is faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, harder to kick than crack cocaine.” And when it gets us, “We don’t even know what hit us.”

It got me good this time.

I’m usually pretty good at putting my head down and doing my work, but resistance walloped me last month. I don’t know why, but I have a theory, and it has everything to do with my contribution to the book.

It’s a brave piece. Maybe when you read it it won’t seem like a big deal to you, but it was a really big deal to me. And sure, I could be brave  when I was writing it just for the editor, but now that it’s actually going out into the great wide world? In print?

Resistance.

If you’ve ever heard Brené Brown talk about the vulnerability hangover she endured after her amazing TED talk, you may have an idea what I’m talking about. Let me just say I feel one coming on.

Once I finally identified my obstacle as Resistance, I could do the work. On Saturday, I stationed myself at my writing desk, put my seatbelt on, and resolved not to get up until it was done. I re-read my essay for the first time in nearly a year. I gave it a title. I wrote my bio. I put it all in an email and hit “send.”

I beat it. But God Almighty, send somebody to hold my hand.

This post is not about faith, but since it is about the original Anne-with-an-”e”, I’m gonna run with it.

Have you seen this cover for the new edition of Anne of Green Gables?

There is no excuse.

Right?

January, what a month! My standards for post-holiday-winter are low, so I’m calling January a smashing success just because nobody got the flu.

TV & Movies

I’m loving the Lizzie Bennet Diaries . I can’t believe I’m obsessed with a web series, but it’s fantastic. I’m so impressed with the way they updated Georgiana’s elopement, and Lydia’s running off with Wickham. Great stuff, and now that the ending of the series is actually in sight I’m so happy Hank Green is planning a follow-up. He’s been hinting at another Austen title, or perhaps Jane Eyre or a Bronte work. I’m game.

While we’re talking Lizzie Bennet, read this: Pride and Prejudice at 200: Stop Looking for Mr. Darcy!

I’m still loving Downton Abbey (though I hate having to watch it episode-by-episode with the rest of the unfortunate Americans). For Downton-related humor, try this: If Downton Abbey Took Place Entirely on Facebook.

I finally got to the theater to see Les Mis. Will and I were 2 of the 6 people in the theater for a 10am showing in Dayton, Ohio, because we were out of town for a wedding, childcare was taken care of, and we’d take what we could get. I was so prepared to require 3 boxes of Kleenex that I felt downright stoic when I only needed half a box.

While we’re talking Les Mis, check out this flash mob from the cast of Les Mis in Warsaw. It’s in Polish, but who cares? We all know the words. (Isn’t Enjolras terrific??)

Also loving: Pitch Perfect. A capella groups were big at my college and this brought back so. many. memories.

Lots of great writing links on the web this month. My favorite: Just Keep Writing.

Also loved: Let’s Talk About the Early 30s Breakdown. YES.

On My Bookshelf:

Favorite read: Daring Greatly by Brené Brown. SO GOOD. I’ve also read some great Kid Lit this month, my favorites being The Giver and The Wednesday Wars.

My Life:

I wrapped up my Whole 30. This month I have been really into grilled chicken breasts, frozen broccoli, and The Clothes Make the Girl blog. Her chocolate chili is a new family favorite.

Since I’ve been off coffee and wine, I’ve drunk my body weight in herbal tea this month. I need some new flavors besides Ruby Red Chai and Mint Melange; got any suggestions?

On the Blog

Over on Modern Mrs Darcy, I finally completed a long-awaited redesign. I kinda like it.

I’m joining in with my friend Leigh Kramer for her What I’m Into link-up. And yes, I’m publishing this in the middle of the Super Bowl because I just. don’t. care.

Something along these lines was said from the pulpit during the Advent season, and I’ve been turning it over ever since. These words so perfectly express my dilemma with expectancy.

Can I wait with confident hope? That is the question.